is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize