I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize