Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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