I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
