Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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