She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I could fuck to npr.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
