You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
