We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
