dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
