WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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