chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She bit a glass in half.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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