Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
