One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
