my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
