God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
