I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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