he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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