I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
