When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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