I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
