Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
