ugly people sure do ruin things
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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