I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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