I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
