So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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