Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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