I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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