Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
