We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You smell like stripper and shame
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
