that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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