4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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