so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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