Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
