tell your sister to shave her snatch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
