I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
