The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize