Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
