Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
