Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
