how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
