Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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