Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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