I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
