In the future we'll all be gay
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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