Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just invented taco cereal.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
