I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize