Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
