Me. At least after what I've been through.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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