It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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