I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
