why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
