I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
