i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
