Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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