I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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