Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
