New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
