You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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