Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She said her name was "party"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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