yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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