he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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