Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
