I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize