So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you win again, gameday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
