I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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