I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
